Monday, May 23, 2011

That's the Problem, It's All in My Mind

For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.
Mathew 6:21

There are fragmented thoughts cycling in my mind, weighing at my heart, distorting my emotions, twisting my tongue with bitterness. 

Submission is freedom and rebellion is bondage. I don't want to do it.

I'm tired.

Where do you spend your time + where you spend your money = your treasure...that's where your heart is. I spend my time housekeeping and online and it's not fair that I should have to sacrifice the little time I have to myself online to do more house stuff because I do this everyday.

I'm tired.
No WORD. No FAITH. I just want to sleep in sometimes.

I'm tired.
TOTALLY OVERSTIMULATED. Another day in the beehive and all the buzzing and flying is driving me insane.

UNAPPRECIATED Really, I spend my time cooking you don't eat. Cleaning and you total the house. Washing clothes that you leave in the floor.

CAN I SLEEP?! I NEED TO SLEEP IN.

BACK TO THE SAME SCHEDULE...AGAIN. (yes it is redundant, just like that!) Five in the morning to Eleven at night is too much. I'm tired. Someone needs to help out in the house. This is ridiculous.

These are my toxins. This morning my prayer was detox. cleanse me. remove the thoughts and replace it with Your words, with your peace, with your joy.

My mouth is silent. I dare not speak the poisons that infiltrated my brain. Sorry. No encouraging text. No smiling good mornings. Just me and my silent stone face, a hand raised in greeting. Rushing to nap time, a quiet place.  

Flipping through my Bible like a feeble adolescent with a sword, I'm trying to find my footing. I know on these words I have to stand. So today, I'm just standing, highlighting the pages tattooing these words on my heart.

Be assured and understand that the trial and proving employing of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing James 1:3-4

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]. Philippians 4:13

Whatever may be your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as [something done] for the Lord and not for men, Knowing [with all certainty] that it is from the Lord [and not from men] that you will receive the inheritance which is your [real] reward. [The One Whom] you are actually serving [is] the Lord Christ (the Messiah) Colossians 3:23

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. Isaiah 26:3

So family, I'm going to listen to this. 

Be thankful that I am able bodied. Be thankful that I have a home to clean. Be thankful that I have children the clean after and so on. I pray that you are having a blessed day and you are being a blessing. (Thanks for "listening" to my incoherent rants. I feel better. >smile<)  Love you!





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