Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Open Heart Prayer

This past Sunday, at the close of service, my pastor gave his definition of ministry. I was thankful for his insight. In my head ministry was like bobbing for apples without your two front teeth. I know the objective, I'm trying, but if I succeed it is shear chance. By pastor's definition, ministry is a display of personal life. So with this new understanding, I will be more intimate with my sharing on this blog starting today.

The past three days I have been T-I-R-E-D! Trying to catch up on sleep, I've been getting up late and rushing through my morning devotional and confessions. By doing so I felt guilt, increase attack from the enemy, and lack. I tried to supplement reading the word with listening to the word. I enjoyed and understood the messages but I felt like I was just gleaning. And I am still T-I-R-E-D.
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This morning getting up an hour late, I rushed through prayer, started breakfast, picked up on cleaning, and thinking about my morning confession and where I would squeeze them in today. Then like a tap on the shoulder, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God... and all those things will be added unto you." But God, "I have to get Suga Momma to school and Fred is already up." (Note to self: my disobedience usually begins with BUT) I needed to get the kids settled. I needed to get out the door. I needed breakfast on the table. I needed to clean house first thing in the morning!

I really needed to remember my past couple of revelations:

  • I feel good when I wake up to a clean house...no my true joy comes when I wake up with a thankful heart.
  • The joy of the Lord is my strength and I'm so happy with Him.
  • God has given me dominion on earth. I can change my environment to my liking like He created the world, just say the words.
  • Life with God is an oasis. When I feel lack, discouragement, agitated I need to stop and identify where sin is operating in my life. Repent. Return to the secret place, my happy place.
This led me to my bedroom. I laid down to read, but I began to pray.
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God, I would rather quit than fail. I gave my word to complete a fundraiser and things aren't falling into place. My contact for the event transferred, the new one hasn't confirmed. I am running out of time to secure this, and as a result I can't go forward with the next step. I HAVE 31 DAYS LEFT. I procrastinated initially. I think this is going to fail, and I would rather just quit than fail. Okay, I see the problem. I'm lacking in faith. My fear of failure is reflecting my lack of faith. Faith that you will provide. Faith that I am favored. Faith in the promises you've given me. I will keep my word. I will continue. Forgive me, please.

Looking at the time, I had about thirty minutes before we needed to leave. I asked God for a word and thumbed through my Bible. I stopped at Hebrews 10:19-11:4  One scripture that really stood out was 10:37-39 For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

So friends that is my testimony this morning. I pray that today you are strong and of good courage because God will ____________. (insert your need here)

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for your encouraging words on my blog - thank you for taking time to read it! It is nice to have some quiet time now to sit and read your words. I love the Scripture you used at the end of this post - it's definitely what the Lord needed me to hear. It's easy to get bogged down in the midst of trying to walk out the faith-steps. I'm in that place right now, and I relate and believe the Lord is working out good things through all the hard places! God bless you today!

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